Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Help Wanted

S/W/F teacher seeks to fill the following short-term, seasonal positions.  Interested applicants should submit a résumé, cover letter, and references, none of which will be read in-depth because of time shortages.  There is no salary and are no medical, dental, vision, or insurance benefits associated with these positions due to budgetary restrictions.  Baked goods and/or other fringe benefits will be discussed upon hire.  I am an equal opportunity employer. 

Creative Wall Director
Ideal applicants should have a creative vision for how to design a large word wall, which must include many colors and readable fonts.  All wall hangings must be straight.  Careless, crooked stapling will result in the loss of this position and all benefits.

Copyroom Assistant
This position involves standing at copy machine and scanning documents to be sent to our district's print center.  Experience working with MFDs is preferred, but not required.  Ideal candidates are detail-oriented, organized, and skilled at fixing paper jams.

Meeting Proxy
This position involves attending all required team, committee, and school-wide meetings and taking legible, detailed notes.  The meeting proxy will actively listen and participate in each meeting and will be responsible for typing and submitting a detailed summary of what happened at each meeting.

Director of Labeling
This position involves typing, laminating, and affixing labels for everything in the classroom.  This person needs to be thorough in examining contents of cupboards and storage totes in order to properly ensure that all supplies can be easily found by reading said labels.  The ideal candidate is also proactive in labeling other things around the classroom that would help the students or the teacher to more efficiently locate whatever is needed.  Job responsibilities also include labeling binders with student names, numbering textbooks, and stamping all books and materials with the school stamp.

Bargain Hunter
This position involves traveling to stores all over town in order to find the best deal on school supplies.  Items include, but are not limited to, kleenex, notebooks, pencils, folders, binders, markers, construction paper, loose leaf paper, and hand sanitizer.  No money will be provided for these purchases, so an interested applicant should be either overly generous with his or her personal pocketbook or resourceful in acquiring these supplies.  This position requires general competency in filling out donation request forms and interpersonal skills for begging store managers for mercy negotiating supply donations.

Curriculum Director
Interested applicants should have previous experience in planning lessons for middle level students.  A Bachelor's Degree in Education is the minimum requirement for this position.  Applicant will plan for the first eight (8) days of school, being sure to include plenty of icebreakers and name games.  Ideal candidate is someone who is familiar with Bloom's taxonomy, is skilled in using a variety of learning modalities, is a good time manager, and a thorough planner.  The curriculum director will collaborate with other staff to make sure all necessary meetings and orientations, pre-assessments, and reviews of expectations are properly scheduled in.  For this eight-day period, the curriculum director will also need to locate or create all necessary formative and summative assessments that correspond with the daily lessons.

The application process for the aforementioned positions is ongoing, and interviews wil begin immediately.  Thank you in advance for your interest in helping this desperate, behind schedule, frazzled teacher.

No comments: